http://www.carolinefashionstyling.com - Certain feelings and desires are hard to explain and to make sense of. I have always had a desire to be very toned and quite thin. Not because I don't like curves, on the contrary, my favourite celebrity body has always been Monica Belucci. Being really, really fit is something I've always desired. I know many people think I am thin and toned and god knows I'm not anywhere close to being overweight but the current state of affairs is that I'm once again weighing more than my weight goal and thanks to a gym avoidance over the last few months, definitely not toned. I'm also much unfitter than I'd like to be - this was brought home to me when I went for a jog with the hubby recently who's probably actually currently fitter than me.If you've been following this blog for a while, then you know that last year I did the Plan H challenge and lost a few kilos. I had decided to keep the PlanH system on weekdays but I do cheat and eat other things alongside it far too often, not healthy things. That combined with my sudden lack of enthusiasm for exercise hasn't helped matters and once again I've found myself in a place where I don't feel as great as I'd like to. I know that one of my problems is being too busy and not sleeping enough. When I'm tired, my resolve is down, my energy levels are down and I crave sugar and food in general.Now here's the thing, if a person is overweight and wishes to lose weight, that person will find tremendous support from family and friends. However, when a slim person expresses the wish to be more toned or to lose that extra layer of fat that is evidently sitting in different places on their bodies the reaction is very different. I'm a person that needs support to reach a goal. My hubby who's a darling, swings between encouraging me with healthy ideas to telling me how beautiful I look the way I am - not sure that's too helpful :) In truth, I actually think that his recent weight loss and exercise enthusiasm has derailed me for some reason, when he was lazy it seemed to spur me on to be different - why am I such a complicated being?So to get to the point of all of this - I've decided to start a fitness journey, not a weight loss journey. My trainer actually told me to throw away the scales, although knowing me, that's unlikely to happen but still. A fitness journey where I focus on getting stronger, getting fitter, on removing useless, unhealthy foods like sweets from my diet and being healthier. I'm asking all of you to join me and help motivate me, to cheer me on if I succeed and tell me off if I don't.The two main issues I knew I needed to tackle were sleeping more and finding time and enthusiasm to exercise.MOVE is a new gym concept that is focused on training in a smarter, more efficient manner, that is also quite tecchy. They offer different modes of exercise, some with a personal trainer and another that after the initial setup can also be used alone. The idea is, that you only need 44 hours in a whole year, a minimum of two 30 mins sessions twice a week, 3 if you find the time. However busy I get, I think I can find this amount of time. My problem will be when I travel but I'm going to have to find a way to compensate for this before/ throughout / after the trips.I was a bit apprehensive before my first session but actually, I felt at ease straight away. The gym is not a very large place, it's more of a boutique gym and there's no hanging around the weights area or people lounging around. The idea is that you go in, do your 30 mins and leave. I'd like to explain further but this post is already way too long so I'm not going to go into details about the actual sessions. I'll leave that for the next posts along with updates on my progress.Maybe because it's something new, but I am feeling much more motivated and eager, it might wear off after the initial honeymoon period - who knows but that's where you guys come in. I feel as though if I have to come over here and keep a record of my failures and successes then I will be more motivated. So this is my plea - cheer me and tell me off, I need it.